13th April

She wonders if darker shadows overcome the smaller, seemingly less significant shadows. She knew it for two days and then it went away. But she did know it, and she had held it for a moment, and she was looking forward to when it would grow up and learn how to climb up the stairs. The tiny, small puppy... an animal. Animals die every day.


And then there was the person. She felt wrong talking about it, writing about it, thinking about it, because she didn't know anything about the person and therefore, shouldn't feel as though she should pretend to know about him just because it was the topic of conversation. She didn't know him. That was that. But he was the bigger shadow. It floated over her tiny death. It swallowed it, making it almost nonexistant. But she clung onto it stubbornly. Let this be something she could hold on to, it might be small, but it was hers.


She felt an impending sense of dread. From the moment she woke up, she knew instantly. Something was wrong today. She wasn't entirely sure, but she guessed it. And when she opened the door and heard the voices, the thought became more substansial in her head. Coming back home, she knew it wasn't the end. This wasn't it. And she saw the dead thing on the driveway, uncared for, left to rot in the sun. And this was the worse kind, because it didn't affect anyone, or anything. She tried to feel sympathy for it, but it was only a brief shadow, and she was already trying to hold on to the other one.



A puppy.

A boy.

A bird.