Memoir Excerpts - Conversations With Couples Communicating
"Why don't you like wearing make up? Or even high heels? I know a lot of friends who wear them and they love it. I'm just curious."
"Are you really curious or is this a gentle prod in trying to get me to dress up more?"
"I just think you look gorgeous in them. Sexy. I've seen you wear them before, it's not like you don't own heels. You have a ton of shoes, but you never wear them. You just keep wearing those ballet flat shoes. And make up too. Why did you buy it if you're not going to wear them?"
"I wear them when I feel like it, which isn't everyday. This is me everyday."
"I know, and I'm not complaining. I just... look, like I go to the gym, I play basketball. I try to stay in shape to look good and keep fit, you know? Here, look at this. Feel this. Look at these abs! Aren't you proud to be walking down the street with someone like this? Don't you like being with someone that has this body?"
"Um. No, not really. I think it's odd if people see your bare abs walking down the street, first of all. Secondly, thank god I have a healthy dose of self-esteem because I feel like what you're insinuating is that I don't look 'good enough' to walk down the street with you."
"Again - I didn't say that! Don't take this the wrong way. You're taking this the wrong way. I love you the way you are. I do. I just think if you put some effort into how you dress, which I know you can and have and love doing when you dress up, well, you would just feel and look better overall."
"I understand what you're trying to say. I know you're not calling me ugly but the reality is that I put less emphasis or as you say, effort, into how I look. To be honest, I don't care as much about what people think about me from face-value. I'm not saying I don't care at all, but I just don't think I need to look perfect all the time. I like being comfortable, I like wearing flats, I don't spend as much time wearing make up. It doesn't make me less attractive, it just makes me someone that cares less about appearance. And that's just part of who I am, if you love me the way I am, that's who you're in love with."
"Are you really curious or is this a gentle prod in trying to get me to dress up more?"
"I just think you look gorgeous in them. Sexy. I've seen you wear them before, it's not like you don't own heels. You have a ton of shoes, but you never wear them. You just keep wearing those ballet flat shoes. And make up too. Why did you buy it if you're not going to wear them?"
"I wear them when I feel like it, which isn't everyday. This is me everyday."
"I know, and I'm not complaining. I just... look, like I go to the gym, I play basketball. I try to stay in shape to look good and keep fit, you know? Here, look at this. Feel this. Look at these abs! Aren't you proud to be walking down the street with someone like this? Don't you like being with someone that has this body?"
"Um. No, not really. I think it's odd if people see your bare abs walking down the street, first of all. Secondly, thank god I have a healthy dose of self-esteem because I feel like what you're insinuating is that I don't look 'good enough' to walk down the street with you."
"Again - I didn't say that! Don't take this the wrong way. You're taking this the wrong way. I love you the way you are. I do. I just think if you put some effort into how you dress, which I know you can and have and love doing when you dress up, well, you would just feel and look better overall."
"I understand what you're trying to say. I know you're not calling me ugly but the reality is that I put less emphasis or as you say, effort, into how I look. To be honest, I don't care as much about what people think about me from face-value. I'm not saying I don't care at all, but I just don't think I need to look perfect all the time. I like being comfortable, I like wearing flats, I don't spend as much time wearing make up. It doesn't make me less attractive, it just makes me someone that cares less about appearance. And that's just part of who I am, if you love me the way I am, that's who you're in love with."
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