Soo.... she thinks, as the quiet pause turned into a length of silence which turned into a long span of awkward quietness. She knew she had made a mistake. She was angry at herself for it, but it was too late. Sitting there at the cafe, coffee cup in hand that was repeatedly being sipped out just to do something. Sandwiched between two sides of her life. Her newly found friends whom she had been having the time of her life with, and her old time elementary school friend whom she had known since they were in the sandbox. It was so disorienting. She didn't know how to act anymore. Of course, to her old friend, she wanted to seem like she had never changed, that she was still the same person. But of course, that wasn't true. She had changed, for better or worse, and this was what attracted her to her new friends and vice versa. She enjoyed the new her, with her apathetic slices of sarcasm and witty comebacks. She had grown in the past few years. She had become more confident in herself and her personality, and wasn't going to stick around being nice anymore. However, that was what she used to be. Casting a glance towards her old friend, she bit her lip nervously.

A half-hearted conversation started. A comment from her old friend. She froze. This was exactly the type of thing that she and her new friends sometimes made fun of. And shredded to pieces. It was not as though she was making fun of her old life and friends. She adored her old friends. But there were certain times, when she did feel she didn't fit in to their structure of thoughts, this was when she started to know herself. A subtle, caustic remark from one of her new friends. She didn't know who to support. New.. old.. new.. old... she cracked a tiny smile and laughed reluctantly. No matter how much she loved her new life, she didn't want to betray her old either. And that was why, she had stuck by her old friend the whole day. She did so want to slide into her new life, revel in what she was now, but that would have to wait. Not today.


Walking around past the shops, she was torn again. Her new friends had lingered by a gothic art exibition and were starting up a conversation about it. She joined in, contributing her own pieces of thoughts. Her old friend wanted to see the store next door. She wasn't interested in this. She wanted her to come along because she didn't want to walk alone. She was torn again. Looking at her new friends, looking at the old one, watching them split apart. She followed her old friend, because the new ones were together and her old friend was solitary.

Walking farther away from her friends, she felt a pull, an almost physical pull. She laughed and smiled with her friend but she was thinking about the other friends back there. And she did something she never thought she would. She walked back. She just turned around and walked back... she rejoined her old friends and laughed and smiled with them.


A minute later, her old friend returned.

"Heyyy! You left me!"

"Oh yeah..." a pause and a little laugh, "But hey, look at this!" she said. And it was momentarily forgotten. But not to her.